“Time on your feet” or “Dying on your arse”, the Jury’s still out.

Following the respite of having to do “only” 6 miles at the Chichester 10k on the 4th (that seems so long ago) the long runs have been arriving with all the regularity and monotony of a Tony Blair platitude………“Our boys will be home for Christmas, honest”.

This weeks HJ schedule saw the 2nd of the 16 milers and as I had plans for my graduation to Vet status on Sunday this meant that it had to be done on Saturday. Now I know I’ve said this before but I am constantly surprised by the shifting perspective which the long run gives you. At one point I went over all of the dreadful runs I had in 2006 and almost without exception they were the stupid short 4 or 5 milers, and here I was doing the equivalent of 3 Fittleworth 5’s back-to-back plus a bit more.

One of the recurring mantras (aren’t mantras recurring by definition?) which you hear from marathon vets is “time on your feet”. To date I’ve had no reason to quibble with this particular piece of advice, indeed I’ve invoked it myself a few times to beginners, but as I approach the 3 hour mark in training I am tempted to ask for a re-phrasing, hence the title of this particular blog entry. At the conclusion of last weeks run I couldn’t have managed another yard and this week I even had to resort to some MP3 support, my first selection of Morcheeba was altogether too mellow so I stuck it on random and what did I get? “Hell ain’t a bad place to be” by AC/DC! Methinks I shall stick to Groove Armada in future, the word you're looking for is eclectic. Which brings us neatly to 17 miles this Sunday, 2/3rds FLM distance and another landmark at the Mudchute, we shall see(try this link for photographic tour of the FLM route).

Weekly mileage: 28
Long run: 16
Weight: 97kg
FGI: 8

Quotes of the week:
Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. - Douglas Adams

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb. – Winston Churchill

N

Performance enhancing drugs, a beginners guide to shuffling with multi-lingual panache

At last my drugs have arrived! No, no no, don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking EPO or THG here. Calm down Lord Coe. No, this is the usual caffeine/fructose/glucose mix but in a different format. About 2 years ago a German colleague was training for the Frankfurt Marathon and he told me that he had the usual problems with gels i.e.; they taste like wallpaper paste and you need to take gallons of water on board to make them both palatable and consumable. Great for hanging a bit of woodchip but not much good on race day with the usual dearth of latrines.

Luckily for him he had found a new product which the Tri nutters over there use. He told me the name which sounded like “Raketenkraftstoff macht dicken Mannlauf, wie ein fein Sportler einstellen“ which roughly translates as “rocket fuel“ (I’ve since learnt how to pronounce it in properly in German but I’m never sure when to stop, actually I made that bit up). The upside is that it comes in individual little packages slightly larger than a marshmallow and with the same consistency. You simply pop it into the side your mouth between your teeth and you cheek and let it dissolve, or for the German speakers among you try this claim from their website “Sofort Energie! Durch die direkte Aufnahme über Mundschleimhäute wird der Magen-Darm-Bereich entlastett” the literal translation of which is “Immediately energy -Through the direct reception over mouth mucous membranes, the stomach-intestine-area is relieved”. Now that bit I didn't make that up. Nice.

Downside #1 is that it's not available in the UK. Downside #2 is that the large lopsided bulge in your mouth leaves you looking like a hamster that’s just had a severe stroke. Now I’m sure you’ll agree that really is a classy look but frankly I don’t care. But the real bummer is that they’ve been out of stock since December, mein Gott! Thankfully mein freund has since made a bulk purchase for me which arrived under plain wrapper last week. Thomas, ich liebe dich.

So with the aid of my Raketenkraftstoff I was able to trot round the 16 miler in relative comfort (sorry Ben, did I say trots?) together with the moral assistance of Wendy & Sarah H. I’m relieved to say that my achilles, which had been troubling me, are fine although I do have quads of oak instead (should that be achilli? Any members of “pedants are we” are free to comment). I have to say the long-run distances are now looking a little bonkers especially to normal folk.
Q: How was you weekend Nick?
A: Pretty quiet, I ran from BBH to Slinfold, Slinfold to Five Oaks, Five Oaks to Billingshurst, Billingshurst to Barns Green, Barns Green to Christs Hospital and then home. Apart from that not much. How about you?
Q: Errrr…………

I have 2 quotes again this week; choose your favourite depending on your depth of pomposity:
“Games require skill. Running requires endurance, character, pride, physical strength, and mental toughness. Running is a test, not a game. A test of faith, belief, will, and trust in ones self. So hardcore that it needs a category all to itself to define the pain. When game players criticize, it's because they aren't willing to understand, not because they're stronger. Running is more than a sport; it's a lifestyle. If you have to ask us why we run, you'll never understand, so just accept.” - Jessica Propst
Or
“I don’t train. I just run 3-15 miles a day.” - Jack Foster

See you all Tuesday,
N

Climb every mountain & record breaking Valentines frolics

That was a weekend well spent. Due the Valentines run on Sunday I had to shift the long run to Saturday and thankfully 5 souls were happy (gullible) enough to come along for the ride. We clocked up 15 miles which was impressive enough but throw in 990ft of ascent (equivalent to sea level to the top of the tower on Leith Hill) and I have to say I was really pleased with everyone’s performance. There was a time when a 10 miler or half-marathon was a serious proposition and the few days beforehand were dedicated to being in the right physical and mental state to tackle it. But now the long run seems routine with virtually no prep being done; get up, shoes on, run around for a couple of hours and home for tea and medals (only without medals). Thanks to Jean for providing the water stop and telling us “it’s all down hill from here” at the end of Park Lane. Well, downhill apart from Prings Hill and the 160ft climb in less than a mile up to the A281 but she means well bless her.

This was followed by the annual Valentines Mud/Fun Run. Bog snorkling’s got nothing on us. James Baker once again led home the field by finishing the 3.8 miles in 20min 5sec! I’m pleased to say we had a record entry of over 280 runners and here’s where I get to say thank you to the team without whom it just wouldn’t happen. Special thanks to the key staff Jon & Mary K, Andy Spriggs and Chris Beaken. Thanks also to Wendy, Tee, Trish, Jean, Philip, Gordon, Maggie, Mari & Richard, Jo, Bas & dogs, Dave, the Rustington footy contingent and anyone else who I missed for giving up your Sunday morning in order to help out and once again provide a quality event for the runners. Photos and report should be up on the website by Monday night, although those of a squeamish or delicate nature might not want to look too closely at the filth, and hopefully we will get a slot in the WSCT this Friday. Let's hope we get some quality gurning.

I won’t be around at all this week but I look forward to a return to Sunday ‘normality’ with the 16 miler on the 18th.

Weekly mileage: 27.4 miles
Long run: 15.1 miles
Weight: Didn’t bother, but my strides are getting looser
FGI: 9
Quote of the week:
"I think people can handle 150 to 200 miles a week. But something has to give somewhere. If he's a student, how's he going to study? He may be at the age of chasing and courtship, and that's an important form of sport and recreation, too." – Bill Bowerman

See you Sunday,
N

Z-Group track work pays dividends & HJ Gurner of the Month

Well, what a performance, I can’t speak for the A&B groups but at our end of the field it was PB’s all round I think. I knocked more than 6 minutes from my 10k PB, Ma’am also 6 minutes & Tee-Hee took off 11 minutes! Now I’d like to be able to claim that this was down to charm, charisma and my grade-1 race turnip but I would be lying. The truth is this; the track works. A few weeks ago someone looked me straight in the eye and said “Right, you’re coming on the track tonight. Aren’t you!” Without that encouragement I would still be a one pace pony and would never have had the confidence to continue to push through the middle of the race and to finish so strongly. Mind you, the downside to this is the point when you cross the line gasping for air, put your hands on your knees and see a huge puddle of someone else’s vomit on the ground in front of you just when you’re breathing really deeply. Nice. Therefore praise and thanks must go to Z-Group Leader (now there’s an ironic nomenclature for you).

We had a really good turnout of Joggers at Chi and looking at the results both Men’s and Ladies teams pulled in some big points in the SGP league. Let’s hope we can keep this up.

In addition to the official SGP points awards I propose a new award, HJ Gurner of the month to de decided by lurkers of this blog. You know the scenario, you ran really well, you smiled at the photographer and can’t wait to look on their website to see how aesthetically and athletically pleasing you look. But they never seem to get your best side do they? Therefore for the February award I propose Ben & Nik. Click on their names to see the proof and register your vote. Fortunately for Nik he has redeemed himself by getting onto the Chichester Observer website photo of the event. Nice work by our director of communications.

And so it’s back to marathon reality this week with the regular Tuesday run and Thursday track (weather permitting). I will be doing a 15 miler on Saturday as I will be organising the Valentines on Sunday. So far there are 5 of us doing the Saturday run, any other takers? I will make sure that there is an 8-10 mile short cut if needed. Also if anyone can help this Sunday I would appreciate it.

N